Day 11 - The Old Switcheroo

The decision was taken last night, that is I took the decision, to break my fast, I stated at the outset I wasn't going to be dogmatic about it or do anything that I felt my jeopardise my long term health and I was starting to feel downright unwell. Certain aspects I was happy to deal with, the dizzy spells for instance a result of lower BP and slower metabolism, simple, you get dizzy you sit down, wait a spell and then get up again but slowly and try not to overdo it.

Things like the muscle cramps and palpitations I was less happy about, they might have been psychosomatic but why take the risk, I can try another long term water fast whenever I like but if I make a complete hash of this one then maybe I can't!

So, yesterday evening some fruit (tangerines and blueberries), some various salad and later some starch in the form of potato and a little white fish was eater, ok I did have a small chunk of dark chocolate too, letting the flavour dissolve in all of it's bitter glory across my tongue!

As I broke the fast I decided that I will see out the remainder of the 40 days using ADF, Alternate Day Fasting, so I will continue to eat through Friday (day 12) and Saturday will be fast and so on which will give me a total fasting day count of 25 or 26 out of 40 days, obviously there won't be any of effects I was hoping to observe from a the prolonged fast and unless I eschew carbs on my eating days I am unlikely to see ketosis again but it will still be interesting to see what the effects are on my blood markers compared to the start.

Being honest I am very disappointed that I "failed" to make 40 days, with all I have read it doesn't seem such an impossible target, but you have to listen to your body and make reasoned and reasonable decisions on the basis of what you hear.

When I undertook the 21 day fast last year I was in the position of never really having fasted before, so maybe my nutrient reserves were higher, coming in to this fast I had been drawing on those reserves every week as part of my 5:2 regime and of course whatever toll the marathon and it's implicit training had taken. Even as I write that it sounds to me that I am finding/making excuses for my failure, but perhaps that is the nature of the beast within!

Weight post feed
186.6lb

Day 10 - Reflective

Given the amount of time in our daily lives that we probably spend thinking about food, what we just ate, what our next meal will be, any shopping we need to do... when one is fasting there is suddenly space in your head (and time of course) to stop and reflect a bit on things.

Yesterday I took some time to ponder my lifelong relationship with food and come to the conclusion that it is a pretty unhealthy one, although nowadays I actually eat quite well, it doesn't mean that my relationship with food is healthy. The problem is that food for me isn't just about take it or leave it as a fuel source, or even as a creative "art" if you like, although I can flirt with those aspects of it. Food for me has always been a source of emotional succour, I eat to make myself feel good, each guilty mouthful triggering endorphins, I eat to reward myself or find excuses to arrange a celebration meal, or a cake or whatever. I am also a secret eater, in that whilst I very much enjoy the social aspect of sitting around with friends or family and breaking bread, I am just as happy (or unhappy) shovelling a peanut butter and marmite sandwich into my mouth at 2am when the rest of the world is asleep.

I question of course, exactly what is a healthy relationship with food, is it healthy just to see food as a fuel? I need x calories for y hours = input, or should it be an “if I'm hungry I'll eat” situation?

Food of course is one of the few things that we have absolute control over in our lives, we choose whether or not we put something into our mouths and to a degree we also choose what, or at least everyone has the ability to make the distinction between junk and healthy. So is this fast just an exercise in control, am I doing it for the previously stated "health" reasons, for weight loss, or just because it's an area of my life I can control absolutely? Interesting thoughts, in truth it is a probably a combination of all 3.

I am definitely finding the fast harder this time around, the long fast I did last year I had more of a buzz and I actually felt good, both physically and mentally, if occasionally a little tired (exhausted) but sleep always seemed to rectify that, I would wake up re-invigorated and ready to go for another day.

This time I am a little stupefied, or not as sharp as I would like to be.. I am tired and achy, today to the point of some fairly high level muscle cramps, my fingers and toes curling inward, quads tightening and biceps trying to flex. My friend Google tells me this could be salt depletion, so I will make a visit to the Dr. tomorrow and see what they think.

No progress on returning to ketosis either, which is disheartening.

Weight 183lb
B/P 105/73
Pulse 89

Tomorrow is another day